So.. what have i been doing for th past few months in NP???? Tht i'm afraid tht i have to ask myself tht question. I've met and am blessed with such wonderful friends whom I can count on... though I kno tht I've experienced some past experiences during my DPA period.. but, nevertheless, I'm still happy of where I am now.. Yea, th transport is one thing..always dragging myself out of bed and thinking tht going to Clementi is like.... == But everyday, I will meet with Fing, Mad, and Winnie in Clementi mall.. I will feel so much better.. I felt rejuvenated I guess? So thank you for tht darlings...♥ And my other Obiangs, whom I need them more than ever... Thank you for being there for me though I may be very irritating, loud, annoying, clingy, bimbo, attention seeking, everything... Thank you... ♥ And to my F8TE members... I ♥ you like I'm in some grp where I can never leave you guys.. different members have diff personality whom I cherish a lot and I hope that you can accept my bad parts in me thru dance. ♥

But today.... okay... I was so stressed up abt th holidays though I'm not supposed to bcus.. its holidays. CCAs, performances, dance, overseas, studies, outings, etc.. is cramming up my timetable and its... scary! I can't manage it! i just can't... I have too many things on my plate and its like I might fall any minute with one flick of a finger. I'm stressed! I'm afraid! I'm not confident! This may be scary... but... I don't have th will and adrenaline in me to dance anymore.... I can't find it. I'll always get agitated whenever I dance. I mean... I don't find it a joy anymore. yea, this can't be happening to me.. but.. its scary to think tht th activity tht you always love is... gone.. I hope I can find the interest and love and passion for it again....

I wanna leave Singapore fast... I just wanna leave asap. I just wanna take a deep breath and enjoy my week there in my hometown before continuing my crazy life in SG.. Obiangs, I wish I can bring all of you there someday.. cus I wanna show you everything in Indonesia.. I miss everyone there.. I miss my relatives. Its sad to see tht everyone's going to relative's houses for events where I'm stuck at home.. i mean.. it just sucks?

So yea.... my thoughts are all thrown here.. I didn't spazz today like how I should be doing... I need to listen to SJ songs.. I'm sorry boys.. Couldn't spazz today..

Here's a video(its kpop... but, just watch), just by this vid, I cried like a river.. not bcus of th song.. but th lyrics and everything... as i watch this, i thought of my people around me as well... especially th Obiangs... so.. this is dedicated to you my darlings.. Thank you for everything.... ♥
tht's all for today..

Goodnight♥