So... its th start of th holidays.. yay? haha!


Spent these few days trying to get back my sleep aft sacrificing them for all my assignments and shit.. and spent some quality time with daddy before he goes back to Indo again. :( sigh. Life's difficult if you don't have a job.

Its 3am right now.. and Idk why I'm not asleep yet. I had a great day today... It was just a simple lunch with Rachel (not th bimbz lol) but yea.. Its great talking to her and just ranting out all my insecurities and worries. She's a person whom I can relate to a lot and well.. i'm not afraid to say what I have been keeping in for quite sometime. We played arcade aft tht and.. yea. it was fun.

But right now I'm here.. thinking abt life.. th past... th future.. th present... wtf. == you need a life steph. But well.. I guess people just don't understand how it feels to be separated from your own family. Seeing other people with their family tgt.. and you don't... sucks to be you steph. I wanna go back to Indo so badly.. oh so freaking badly... I wish I can just stay there forever.. but here comes th part where you insert th "well what happens to your education and friends" phrase. Yea. tht. Sigh. So here I am sitting on th fence again.. not knowing where life's heading for me... or... where do I belong comfortably..

Here in Singapore.. I have found so many wonderful friends tht i cannot express how thankful I am to have met them. Primary, Secondary, Poly, Fandoms... I'm glad I still kept in contact with them and I hope I could meet them soon.. Some people have changed.. be it in a good/bad way, but well tht's life, and I'm just blessed and thankful to have met you as a friend, then, and now. Thank you for being part of my life. ♥

Th fandom world can be a scary place.... But I'm just glad tht I've met a lot of wonderful and passionate people from all over th world and some people are just a bundle of joy to be with. So, thank you too. ♥

Of course, I've had my hearts broken many times... friendship.. family... relationship.. Guess I will live with th scars tht have embedded on me for th rest of my life. Guess I'm opening up more to certain people right now.. which i think is a good thing?

Apparently.. he still hasn't forgotten abt me. oh wow. how cliche. Its been a year.. and he still has not gotten over it. Seeing his tweets make me wanna bury myself and just not appear to the world no more. My mind and heart are not cooperating with each other.. so yes, I'm having this emotional crisis where.. Idk how to approach this. NO WAY AM I GOING BACK THERE AGAIN.... right? Idk. my heart is playing tricks with me. Its saying its okay to try again.. but another half is saying not to. T.T

Oh. and not to mention th emotional crisis I'm having because of Jongwoon. /this is important LOL/ Its been over a hundred days tht I've survived his absence. /pats self/

And.. another 622 more days. SOBBING. I can get thru this. yes I can.


OHHHH! AND ITS 9 MORE DAYS TO HEENIM'S DISCHARGE FROM ARMY. ;;;;;; OH SHEER JOY! ♥ HEHEHEHE~

Okay. enough for today. Goodnight everyone. ^^