I guess its from other people's eyes that they're doing well so far. well, i can't say anything can i? the generation has passed on. and it will be passed on to the others... you have no say anymore. Its professionalism that they managed it so well, and hiding what happened behind the scenes. 

Idk what to feel... nor do I know how to react. am i supposed to continue feeling the hatred, and frustration? or be happy and proud of them for making it this far? proud is such a broad and strong word. I don't wanna misuse it. i have no right to say or comment such things anymore. 

feeling of hatred, sadness, regret, happiness, relieved...... what colour am i feeling right now?